Nick, I think this place would really thrive with you as their barker:
Rocks here! Rocks fa sale! 2 bucks a pound, newborn's worth of rocks, 15 dolla! 15 dolla. Don't want to pay, we got rocks fa free! Don't like rocks?! We got wood!
Everyone here had accents, endlessly amusing to hear little boys say pa.
Thanks, and see you soon